Dear Buddha- obviously ALIVE! I am not one to oursource my social media identity to the undertakers. BUT please allow me to recount the tribulous tails of my lovely misadventures as my incredibly lucky self is flung across the Pacific ocean inside a supersonic jet.
Lets REWIND... for it is true, I fled the 1st quadrant of the world rather hastily. My insides BURNED with my neglectful watch over Brenton Pressley- BP OIL KING and the consequences of his careless greed. I pulled myself up out of a wrecked attempt at love and directed my energies towards a brand new start. Like a confirmation process without the church, I vowed to fight evil, save the innocent and illuminate the good in this world. There was heaps of undiscovered beauty awaiting on the opposite side- and criminals to boot-- so 180' WEST and into the very HEART of the 6th quadrant I FLEW.
VIETNAM, I arrived and was soon blasting falling cable cars full of Japanese tourists back into the SKY. I rode nightbuses like space ships and saved other buses from crashing down narrow mountain passes. I watched the atrocities of war through my RolliTimeFlex and appreciated the goodness of the people surrounding me. I ate pig brain, animal heart and (alas!) goat amidst the generosity of strangers. I bathed in mud that spewed out of the earth and spoke to people with smiles.
In a FLASH I found myself chasing down a bus across the border of LAOS and flying ahead of time to detonate ordinance still lying unexploded (thankyou oh so powerful graces of the American govt), within the earth small children run across. I absorbed some of the most beautiful energy in the UNIVERSE within this country of simplicity and beautiful people. I was RESCUED from the treacherous current of the slowest moving muddy river I have ever swam in. And---I am still confused by this one.
CAMBODIA welcomed the arrival of my American wallet with gusto. Gladly I spent my scarce dollars in the poorest country I have ever been, and ironically never had I felt so poor! The shallow materialism so prevalent in the West is almost sickening to recall in light of a country that is far too thin. Nearly all of my RESCUES were for the most preventable things. This country needs some social services ASAP! BRING ON the medicine, education and SLAM those child rapists and sex trade ringleaders into a deep dark prison. OR better yet- drop them on PLANET TREMORSA...a hell planet where the oxygen is just thin enough to sustain the most minimal of life-forms and is conveniently located through an inescapable black hole. (...They ought to have 6 new prisoners.) On the bright side, I saw how rich the people were... RICH in persistence, hard work, optimism, dilligence and spirit that follows one of the cruelest regimes ever inflicted by a government on its people in recent times. Their dark history of the Khmer Rouge now resonates with sunshine and the slow determination of marching faithfully forward...making Cambodia a beautiful place.
Weeks later, I was casually strolling across the border of THAILAND and I immediately noticed how everyone wasn't quite so skinny, there were sugary TREATS by the roadside, the luxury of fashion was visible and there were HEAPS more cars compared to the number of motorcycles in the latter countries. In this gorgeous country I decided to take up war against the environmental evilists...Master Monsanto's cronies and the LOGGERHEADS. I raced across mountaintops on motorbikes and placed creating a masterplan for Myanmar on my to-do list. I saved drunken idiots from savage burns at wild beach parties and protected the pockets of good people from sneaky hands while I sunbathed.
Southwards I flew to MALAYSIA where I stranded myself in the Perhentian Islands. Here lies a place where beauty is flaunted in the most wonderful ways. I drank in the sun, the sand, the turtles, fought dragons and made friends with sharks. I dived into vibrant technicolor gardens full of sea creatures and polygons sun-dancing on clam shells. Massive schools of fish ate from the palms of my hands and I floated towards the mainland with a lustful state of mind for this beautiful PLANET <3
The 6th leg of this 6th Quadrant journey brought me to INDONESIA. I stationed myself in Bali and stumbled into many of the calamities earthlings experience due to an unfortunate streak of forgetfulness. The exposed reef wreaked a bloody back as waves scraped me to shore; burning lungs would fill with salt as swells knocked my untalented feet off boards. Alas! Swooping assists were made from the SKY in brilliant flashes of light... towards collapsing fishing boats lost from land...and for endangered surfers swept under currents around the isle; head injuries and broken bones to beat- and beaten at that.
The end of this journey has suddenly grown near...my return to the 1st Quadrant has become inevitable as my wallet has walked off into the walls of guest houses and plates of pad thai. Since superhero's receive the most irregular paychecks...(at least those free of special interests)- and there are far too few of us to unionize- I am returning home to the land of stars and stripes to pursue a globalized view of the American Dream...leading, well, a "common life". Which, I should note, is simply my desire to live and love as the craziest of normal humans do...This flight, I should also note, is flying at high speeds directly towards Los Angeles, USA. Straight to HOLLYWOOD! A land packed with SUPERseeming people...and seemingly the most appropriate place for a SUPERHERO to attempt to blend in...in fact, I'm almost here my friends, wish me luck!
Signing off with love,