Lady Lightwave: A superhero's travel blog

The Full Moon Party on Koh Phangan, Thailand is of epic and absurd portions and proportions. In full DAY GLOW PAINT attendance I danced in the rain and made SAVES left and right and up and down to the clueless,  relentlessly happy party goers. For 2 FULL NIGHTS- the pre-party and the full moon party- I was simply forced by duty to party on the beach. (!!!) 


I stationed myself beside the absurdly dangerous 20ft long gasoline drenched FLAMING jump rope that was flung in constant rotation by ripped shirtless Thai men on very high platforms--- while below, a vast majority of inebriated white guys attempted to jump rope for the first time since elementary school. A clinic was also located on the beach in order to promptly respond to the expected burn counts. It was LUDICROUS and incredibly fascinating to watch. 


A bucket of red-bull vodka in one hand and my RolliTimeFlex in my other I made some incredibly lucky saves, the most potentially gruesome was when a big dude from England tripped on the rope, got it caught between his legs and instead of falling off to the side- fell FORWARD directly onto the burning flames. This is the part where he would end up with permanent scars on the side of his face, hands, and especially around his legs except for the fact that I could see this all coming of course and allowed him to fall just closely enough to singe off some leg hair before BLASTING this English guy in hot pink party shorts off to the side with a FORCE FIELD sent from the FUTURE. This is my favorite way of making saves I must say. When I’m feeling lazy I save myself the trip of actually flying faster than light into FORWARD TIME and instead calmly wait for an on-site current-time rescue. However, I was feeling especially HIGH-ENERGY with the MOONLIGHT from night 1 and the RAIN from night 2 that I was in a CONSTANT MOTION of RACING into TIME and pausing to compose quite THEATRICAL force field effects to compliment the atmosphere of the evening. These included wonderful ROTHKO-esque COLOR FIELD blasts in fuzzy rectangular shapes, powdery gold glitter blasts that seemed to have just thrown themselves up from a Santogold album cover, spearmint scented smoke blasts, and so forth. 

Day GLOW paint washed itself on and off of the thousands of bodies pounding on the sand in response to this well oiled supply chain of beautiful island brings travelers, the travelers like moonlight and parties, they bring money, that spend it on cheap liquor drinks served in sandcastle buckets, neon branded attire, jars of paint, and street foods selling donuts, cold pad-thai and oily spring rolls to keep themselves fueled. All the while an omniscient choreographer has amassed huge speakers that fluctuate between various high energy pop songs fading in and out of each other for hundreds of feet down the beach.  

In the morning a wide tractor type of apparatus comes to sweep up all of the TRAGIC LITTER that coats the formerly beautiful beach; it also kicks off the last group of hard core dancers who are still going strong at 9am when I returned to check pulses and take amusing photographs of those special individuals who lay plastered across the sand in motionless conviction that they were indeed in bed. 

A successful night! A beautiful night! TWO beautiful nights! People are wonderful, funny, stupid, happy, creative, smart, repressed, delightful, exciteful, beautiful creatures. 

Now. To MALAYSIA! (A taxi, a night ferry, a taxi, a terrible mini-bus, a better mini-bus- my current state- soon to be on another taxi, etc.) My 2 week visa for THAILAND expires in a matter of hours. Thank you Thailand for your beautiful land and people, but I would please like to return those extra pounds from 14 days of eating delicious sugar and spiced food.  

I love Lao. Despite a rough introduction this country has the best energy on the planet. It is also full of BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! Everyone seems to have a natural gentleness to them, and it took coming here to notice what an EDGE Vietnam has to it. Vietnam was friendly enough, but Lao is absolutely SPLENDID. Unfortunately about 300 people still die every year due to the ordinance dropped by the sweetheart US GOV back circa Vietnam. Every 8 minutes they would drop a plane load of this stuff along its Eastern border… I kept special watch on the FUTURE here via my golden time-piece…which allows me to see up to 22 hours ahead from my current location. I flew ahead once to SAVE the life of a 6-year old boy walking through the woods looking for mushrooms to sell at the market… WOOOOOOOSH!  I picked him up with minutes to spare and returned to detonate the land mine with my force-field before it could blow anything else to bits.

Back to how beautiful Lao is. I love it. Jen loves it. We paid back the Japanese man and went to the market to purchase fruits from many beautiful people. Where are we? -Savannaket, complete with a DINOSAUR at the city’s entrance.

Even the Lao bus station had a lovely AIR to it.

That evening we took yet another bus to Pakse- this time with plenty of rice and babies to my delight. 

Doing things the proper earth-way can be incredibly expensive and most frustrating. After borrowing money from the aforementioned Japanese tourist in the rear of the bus, Jen and I were finally on our way to getting our last stamp (one needs about 4,000 passport stamps at the Lao + Vietnam border) when the bus-driver, (whose ass I just saved!)…starts his engine and begins driving into the empty expanse of Lao. Fortunately Jen is one of about 10 individuals who are aware of my super human powers…I wait patiently for the last stamp on an incredibly beautiful watermarked visa that I think I would like to frame one day (seeing as it costs $40 as well) - grab Jen’s hand and fly ahead of time to where the bus breaks for lunch one mountain over. Unfortunately we get a head start on an incredibly un-appetizing meal that includes buzzing flies, un-identified meat and a strange root vegetable.